The Epic Cat

The papers were stacked
And sorted with care
Some on the table
And some on the chair

And the kitchen was clean
With dishes to dry
With clean folded laundry
On the couch piled high

I waited until
They had gone through the door
None of them know
What I had in store

I crept to the window
To take a quick peek
And as soon as they were gone
To the kitchen I’d leap

So long did I wait
Till their chattering was done
And I watched them all leave
Each and every one

Then off to the kitchen
I jumped and I pounced
Freeing the dishes
Though not one of them bounced

With a crash and a bang
And a smash and a clang
From the kitchen I leapt
Though nobody came

Then off to the couch
As I gathered up speed
Knocking vases and lamps
That they really didn’t need

And upon that nice pile
I made a nice bed
And then I did those things
That humans most dread
First is was a hairball
That I left there to show
And then came the time
When I really had to go

The litter box seemed
So very far away
So I went on those clothes
And then left to play

With those papers all sorted
In nice neat tall piles
If they wanted them sorted
They should have put them in files

First to the chair
I made a great bound
And all of those papers
Fell to the ground

To the top of the table
I went with a jump
Then all of those piles
I scratched and I bumped

Then while chewing on papers
I felt it again
Another poor hairball
I left on her pen

And that’s when I heard it
A rattle from the door
I jumped from the table
And on to the floor

At the door I waited
While they slowly turned the know
The door opened wide
So they could see my great job

Then what did I see?
Her ankles were bare!
How could she do that!
How did she dare!

First with my left paw
Then with the right
I hissed and I snarled
I was ready to fight!

She yelled and she screamed
I had done my job well
I did it so good
That the human almost fell

To under the bed
I quickly did move
The superiority of cats
I once more did prove.